Just know that I wouldn’t have written this is I didn’t love you so damn much.
She loses everything
Bipolar Demigod
Never lets me sit shotgun,
No amount of inpatient, outpatient, group, individual, probation, or drug tests
Can keep her from a life of destruction
She’s late to everything
Wears chaos in her hair
Cover-up line thick on her jaw
I never let her borrow any of my white clothes anymore
I’m always there when she scrubs her liver clean with alcohol
Instead of peroxide
I’m always the one holding her hair back
While she vomits new memories
Into a toilet bowl
Passed out drunk
But I am no savior
I want to cut her black wings open
Bury bleeding feathers in my cheeks
But she is the hamster
Going round on her wheel again
Getting the spins
She’ll try to push the top off of her cage
If you don’t close it tight enough
Sleep in her food bowl
Bite if you startle her
What you need to understand is that
Missy doesn’t take shit from anyone
She is the queen of persuasion
Can convince your wallet out of your pocket
She could persuade me that my name isn’t Kerri
Would be a lawyer if it didn’t take so much damn effort
She is the only girl who I can admit
Would beat the shit out of me in a fight,
Always gets too angry
Too quickly.
Always one cigarette puff away from an O-ringed miracle
Drank a whole bottle of Jack Daniel’s to wash down the New Year
The strip club was closed
She didn’t want to sleep alone
Wanted to find drugs to sustain her buzz
Tries to fight me when we’re drunk
I told her to choose cocaine or me
She told me to get the fuck out of the car
She was strapped to the hospital bed that night,
My best friend.
Fist fighting cops with empty clenched hands
I wished her fists would bud flowers like lotus
But I never liked tending gardens.
She lives in the now,
Doesn’t think about the repercussions of stupid shit she does,
Like getting a rainbow tattooed between her boobs
Drunk in the city on Saint Patty’s day
Like driving drunk
The first time she totaled our friend’s mom’s car
The second time the cops got her.
She looks for love from random strangers
Because she hates herself
And seeks affection from everybody else
Obsessed with measuring her body in caterpillar inches
Hates the way she looks in jeans
Yet slips on a mini skirt
She used to blame bruises from her abusive boyfriend on me
Telling her parents, “Oh no, they’re just from Kerri, we were just fucking around”
But her multi-colored map outlined his knuckles
Not foreplay
She rationalizes that she hit him first
So naturally
He would hit her back
That napoleon complex little shit head
Kept her blindfolded with fists better than he ever could with love
We need flashlight fingers to see at these depths
Cause she reached rock bottom a long time ago
No matter her shoebox nightlight
She can never find her way home without me
I would set the ocean on fire if I thought it would save her
Been scratching glow in the dark wishes
On the breadcrumbs of her life path
For her to find her way back to me
After all this
I don’t think she’ll die young
But she just may be the reason why I might
[PLEASE tell me the differences between these two poems that you liked/disliked. what was lost/gained in the different versions?]
3 years ago • 0 notes